No water

We woke up Wednesday morning to no water.  This is one of my biggest fears.

I had to run to the gym to shower for work and I called my handyman and a well guy.  I came home early from work to try to figure out what the problem was and we determined that the pressure tank had a busted bladder.  This meant that the tank wasn't creating and holding the pressure to keep water.

So I had to buy a new pressure tank.

Even after that was installed we were having a minor issue so we had to put in a check valve.

This all took a couple days to get to, so for the first two days, every time we needed to use the shower or a sink, we had to run downstairs to turn the power back on to the well pump so that we'd have water in the house.  It wasn't until Saturday night that things were back to normal.

We are more popular than we thought

We were in the doctor's office last week when suddenly the youngest pointed out a picture on the wall....

Little late in the garden season

I finally got outside and did some digging in the garden a couple weeks ago.  I ended up getting a storage tub and a bucket full of parsnips, carrots, celery, and potatoes.

Cash and Paisley - 8 months old

I'm so behind on updates because so much as been going on and so much has changed.... I'll let the pictures do the talking...

Really?!

No more outdoor fun

Friday night, the youngest wanted to sleep in my bed.  Despite my protests, I shared the bed with him and Cash.  It was a good thing, because in the morning he pointed out that Cash's eye was swollen and then his mouth.  I hadn't noticed it, but it was pretty obvious.

The trouble has begun

Although Paisley will happily skip into her crate when we ask her to, Cash is another story.  He hates the crate and no matter how we bribe him, he hates to go in and hates to stay in quietly.  Each time that I put Paisley in her crate, Cash will look at me out of the corner of my eye and then quickly hurry in to my room and jump in the bed.  He seems to think that if he "goes to bed" in my bed that I won't make him "go to bed" in his bed.

A few days ago we came home to this...

I'm not even sure how he managed to do that, but he's clearly planning to break free.

It has begun.... or ended depending on how you look at it

Last week someone from the county came and knocked at our door.  I was in the shower so the youngest had to tell the man to wait a few minutes for me to finish and get dressed.  I had no idea who it was until I stepped outside and he introduced himself.  He was the head engineer on the road-widening project and was in charge of overseeing the work in front of my house.

He told me they would be coming through soon to begin work on the land they took last winter.  I asked how long I had and he said about 10 days.

I took pictures that day as we were leaving our property just to remember what I had since it was going to be changing.  As you can see, from the road you can't see our house unless you're looking directly up the driveway.

The end of an era

We've had a lot of changes around here in the past month or two, and the idea of selling the goats has been tossed around quite a bit in order to keep up with the changes.  I finally decided it was best for us to find them another home.

A woman that used to be on the 4H board emailed me and was looking to add some girls to her small herd so she could breed them.  It took about two weeks for us to coordinate schedules, but she finally came by over the weekend to see them and then came back today to pick them up.

The girls were actually very easy to catch as they each came to the gate and waited while we grabbed their collars and both of them walked right into the trailer.  Maybe it was a sign.

It was strange not having them attempt to shove past me into the chicken coops when I was locking up tonight and it was strange to not have to lock the gate to the goat pen behind me.

I am a bit worried about having more predator issues now but I'll keep my fingers crossed that we won't have any major issues.

Over the next few weeks I hope to take down the top layer of fencing that we had to put up over the years to keep the goats in.  It's been so mangled and messed up by them that it's looked horrible for awhile.  Then I want to start using the goat pen as more of a dog run so the puppies can be around the chickens and learn to accept them and they can also get some better exercise.

Lesson learned

We went on a short weekend trip and decided that taking one of the dogs would make things easier for the pet sitter and would give us a chance to do some one-on-one attention and training for the other dog.  Because Cash is usually more mellow, we decided to take him with us.

Boy was I wrong.  Cash was not happy with the kennel he slept in over night and when we picked him back up the next morning, he just seemed completely lost and confused as to where Paisley was.  We took him to a dog run area and he just paced the fence line looking for her.

We heard from a friend that Paisley seemed much more quiet and a bit sad while we were away as well.  It looks like we won't be able to separate them again.

On the way home, I think Cash was being as patient as possible.

And once we were home, although Paisley was hyper as usual, it wasn't long before she came and climbed into my lap and fell asleep.  Maybe she was just glad to have us home.

Baking and Granola Bars

We hosted a Homestead Summer Camp this week with two kids.  We did a lot of baking and making including bread, freezer biscuits, hot pockets, dried fruit, canned tomatoes, and granola bars.  The youngest helped make dough for his pizza pockets.

Another day, we made the granola bars from scratch.  They did not involve any baking and were really easy to make so I was surprised when they tasted really good!

We will definitely make them again, although I get the feeling that they need to stay in the fridge in order to stay firm, so I may have to find a way to bake these to keep them a bit more firm during a school day.

First attempt at dehydrating herbs

 We dehydrated a bunch of fruit this week. We tried kiwi, peaches, several types of apples, pears, mango... Basically all of the fruit that we could find in a local farmers market store.

The watermelon was attempted, but I'm not sure how good it really is.  A lot of it was still pretty soft even after 24 hours.  I think the oldest will eat it all within a day so at least it won't be wasted completely, and lesson learned.

Tomato Canning 2014

We finally got around to canning again for this summer.  First we hit our favorite produce farm and picked well over 100 pounds of tomatoes. 

Then we dumped it all on the table and waited until the next day to get to work.

A Little Ghost Story

I think it's time to tell this story....

Last year, I had just come home from my usual 4AM trip to the gym and was standing at the stove cooking my usual 2-eggs-for-breakfast meal.  The house was silent since the boys were asleep, at the time we had a male renter who was also asleep, and it was still pitch black outside because of the time change.  I was just about done cooking when I heard...

"Hello?"

It was a female voice.  A young, childish, female voice.  I froze with my hand holding the spatula over the pan of eggs.  I tried convincing myself that the voice was outside and someone would knock on the door in just a moment, but the truth was that I heard the voice come from the end of the hallway, where the boys rooms were.

There was no one there.

After a few moments, I ran to my computer to send a message to my real estate agent who makes it very clear that she believes in ghosts and loves to hear ghost stories.

A little Gardening and a little Canning, or a lot

Our basil and tomato plants have gone crazy.  The tomato plants are growing all over the garden and in my flower beds, where I didn't plant them.  The basil plants are huge.

So I finally cut the bunches and hung them up to dry in the kitchen.

Welcome Home from the Pet Sitter

While we were gone for the week, we did find out that one of the chickens had died.  We don't know what happen to her, but she had been broody so I wonder if she wasn't eating or drinking enough.  A friend came to bury her because I didn't want the pet sitters to have to deal with that part of the job.

When we got home there was a bag at our door with some homemade cookies and salsa inside and a journal that the pet sitters had made.  It was a mom and her two school-aged kids and the journal made me laugh, especially the pictures, so I wanted to share it.

Off the Farm and to the Beach

Every once in awhile I try to get us off the farm. It isn't easy because we have to find someone to take care of the animals for us, but this time I found someone to come by three times a day for the goats and chickens and we took the puppies with us and headed to North Carolina to the beach.

We took our time driving down and stopped just about every 60-90 minutes to let the dogs out for breaks.

Paisley and Cash

Whether it was a good idea or a bad one, we got two puppies.  We haven't told many people as I am still grieving the loss of Faith and I didn't want anyone to think we replaced her, as there will never be any way to replace her.

It has been two weeks now, and I figured it was time to make it public.

Cash is a fairly mellow little boy and will often sit calmly down next to me and just look at me.  I've snuck him on to the couch  (where they are not allowed) to cuddle with me twice and into my bed for a few hours while we slept one night.  He learned to come first and mastered "sit" within one day.  He's a cute boy and tends to be more passive.

Paisley is pretty active and full of energy.  She is constantly trying to jump at us, unfortunately with her mouth open and wanting to play.  She takes all of the toys or treats that Cash gets and instigates all of their wrestling matches.  She's worn herself out a few times and so she was the first to be snuck into my room to sleep for a few hours one night.  She learned her name first and learned to "sit" within 15 minutes.

They are siblings that were born on April 1st from a litter that were Shar Pei and Pitbull mixes.  It wasn't my intention to get a pit, but since these are mutts and definitely have some distinct Shar Pei looks to them, I agreed.

We are crate training them, which I've never done before.  They have to pee so often, it is crazy, but they have been really good about either going outside or having an accident on puppy pads that are set up on one corner of the living room.

So far they haven't been allowed out of the living room or on the furniture.  They sleep in separate crates, although they were next to each other until today.  We finally moved them so they are about 4 feet away from each other and through a doorway.  They can still see each other but the goal is to eventually have them in separate rooms.

They will be going on vacation with us to the beach because I was worried that a pet sitter wouldn't keep up with the potty training and we would lose ground.  They've done okay in the car for the two trips to the vet and I'm planning to take longer to get to the beach so that we can stop to let them out more often.

I'll save everyone from my sad and pathetic feelings that have come up about Faith since Cash and Paisley have come into our lives and I won't admit that I've caught myself looking up at her urn and asking what the heck was I thinking when they are whining to go outside at 1 in the morning.

**Yes, we did name one of the goats Cash when we had him for the first few months of his life, but we liked the name and used it again.

Pheasant hatching

The same girl that asked us to hatch some duck eggs under our broody girls also asked us to try to hatch some pheasants.  

I didn't expect that

We knew that the guinea were laying eggs somewhere, but we hadn't stumbled upon the nest yet.

Then the oldest told me that he saw the nest by the big tree.  A few hours later when I was going outside to check on the chickens I heard a guinea go crazy across the yard and an orange stray tabby cat came from the area the guinea was trying to hurry away from.

Upon closer inspection I found this.

Duckie Wuckie

We had SEVEN broody hens so I offered to hatch some eggs in one of my chicken groups.  A girl came by and dropped off several duck eggs for us to try to hatch for her.

Oh my, the cuteness! 

This will be the only time I ever truly get personal...

(Preface:  Grandma, you may not want to read this one...)

A friend of mine is dealing with the prospect of losing her dog.  He became sick from kidney failure and tumors before Faith ever became sick.  Even though they elected to have a surgery to remove his kidney, it wasn't very long after the surgery when she saw that his health was declining again.

Tonight, she asked me how she should know when to put him down, or when to do it.  And as I sat there trying to think of the right words to say back to her, I knew I couldn't do what I was suppose to do.  You're suppose to be positive and helpful.  Say things that will help someone to make that decision and feel right about doing it.  You're suppose to offer a glimmer of hope to them.

But I couldn't.

I had to be honest.

So I told her what I hadn't told anyone else:

Everyone said that if Faith was suffering, she needed to be put down.  They told me that it was the right thing to do and it was the most loving thing that I could do for her.  They said that if she suffers for one day, that's one day too many.

I understand these thoughts.  I understand why they said them.  I can even understand why they may be true.

But what I felt and what I feel goes far beyond those feelings.

On that day, I knew that I was not going to let Faith die alone, away from me.

When she was given the first shot, to help her feel drowsy and fall asleep, she fought it.  For ten to twenty minutes I laid on the hospital floor with her as she was losing feeling in her limbs and getting tired, but refusing to close her eyes and sleep.  Over the next 20 minutes or so, she felt herself losing control of her bowels, she was fighting it, every moment of it.

I know she was thinking how she wasn't "suppose" to have accidents and was trying to figure out how to get up and get outside to go to the bathroom.  Even though she was "just a dog", I bet it was humiliating for her when she couldn't hold on any longer.  She was breathing hard and looking at us with eyes that screamed out to me.  She just to get up and go outside to go to the bathroom.  She just wanted to get up and just be Faith again.  She was fighting.

When the vet finally came in to give her the final injection, the vet couldn't find a vein for a few minutes.  Faith had no strength at that point and was just breathing hard, fighting the drowsy feeling, trying to fight losing feeling in her body.  After several more minutes, she was gone.

As my oldest and I sat there, crying over her and petting her, I could not erase the fact that I killed her.  It was me that took her to the vet.  It was me that chose to put her down.  And I can't get past the fact that in those last moments, she may have been screaming out to me asking me why.

A few hours later, I had contacted another vet, shared the test results and was getting another opinion on what Faith had been suffering from.  I needed to hear from someone else that it really was bad and that she wasn't going to get better, and all the while I was thinking how I should have done this before.  Even though I'd already had two vets give me their thoughts, I needed someone else to tell me that she had been suffering and there was nothing I could have done to fix things for her.

I understand that it may have been a "loving" thing for me to help her not be in pain.  I understand that it may have been the "right thing" to do.  But none of those things matter, because those things do not erase the guilt that I felt that day or the guilt that creeps up in my heart when I don't keep myself busy enough.

I did not want Faith to ever suffer or to be in any pain.  I would have done anything to have been able to keep her healthy and safe, at home where she was comfortable, for the rest of my life.

I believe she had already held on for those two weeks that she couldn't eat, for me.  I believe she was fighting to stay alive that day, for me.  I believe she was screaming out to me asking me why it was happening because she knew just how much I needed her and just how hard it would be for me to come home without her.

I believe she did everything for me.

Because that's just who she was.

As I admitted my feelings and shared these experiences with my friend tonight, I knew they were not the things we are "suppose" to tell people, especially someone that's about to go through the same experience.  But I had to be honest with her.  I told her to do whatever she can to make sure that she is completely at peace with her decision before she takes her dog back to the vet.

I also know that these were not things that I had shared with anyone else.  I am not one to admit when things are hard.  I try to make light of situations or to make jokes about the hard situations in my life in order to get through them.  There will never be a time to make light of Faith's life or her death.  I know that the guilt I feel will never completely go away, and I know the memories and the love that I have for her will be right there as well.

Strawberry Jam 2014

We didn't manage to get all 35 pounds of strawberries processed because I've been so busy at my two jobs, but we did manage to get three batches canned.  I think this will be okay as long as we also make black raspberry jam as well.

The Jailbird escaped

We only had one keet hatch from the last batch, or at least only one survived, and while I was waiting to find it a home, he was stuck in a big storage bin in the dinning room until I caught him doing this.

We put a towel over the top to prevent him from getting out again.

Luckily we found him a new home today.

The Greatest Loss of All

11 years ago I was single, child-less, and a few months away from finishing college.  I wanted a dog and a close family friend said his dog had just had pure-bred pit bull puppies.  I didn't like pit bulls and I didn't want a pit bull.

He told me to come take one, and if I didn't want it he would take it back, no matter how old it was.

I showed up at his house, was overwhelmed by the cute-ness, and with his help, picked out a female puppy and went home.  I named her Faith, after Faith Hill.

I remember cuddling on the couch with that puppy and wondering if a day would come that she'd attack me and eat me the same way that the media describes.

A year later I became a mom to my oldest son, via the foster care system.  Faith was an amazing and patient dog.  He would hit her, she wouldn't flinch or react.  He would pull her tail, she wouldn't show any sign of annoyance.

As my life changed, Faith was always there.  Through the loss of relationships, sleepless nights after having my home burglarized when we weren't home one day, stressful days at work, and then finally my move across the country.

Faith was a loyal dog and a good dog.

She didn't chew up shoes, she didn't eat food off my plate when I walked out of the room, and she barked loud enough to keep any shady people at a distance.  At the same time she welcomed everyone into our home, even 20-30 people at a time when we hosted movie nights and barbecues.  Never did she growl, nip, bite, or bark at them.  She wagged her tail and climbed into the lap of anyone that was willing.

She did eat through metal sheeting and attempted to eat through walls and doors when she felt it was too difficult to be away from me for great lengths, and she wouldn't eat unless someone was home with her.  But every time I walked in the door, her tail was wagging and her face lit up.

When my youngest son moved in with us, he was terrified of her.  He literally climbed up my body screeching to get away from her.  It took no more than a few hours before he was on the floor, happily being licked.

When we moved to the country, Faith obviously came along.  When we got pet chickens and goats, she was there.  Never once did she go after them or attempt to hurt them.  In fact, she would step outside the door and wait for the chickens to move out of the mud room before she'd walk outside past them.

Faith became sick two weeks ago.  She simply stopped eating, no matter what tempting treat I offered.  For two weeks we tried everything we could think of and visited the vet multiple times.  No matter what we tried, she was not able to keep any food or water down and was wasting away before our eyes.  In one week, she'd lost five pounds.  She spent her days sleeping, taking the few steps to follow me into another room and lay down, or vomiting.

Yesterday, to end her suffering, we put her down.  No matter how many people tell me that this was the best thing for us to do for her, it does not make me feel any less guilty or sad about it.

Words will never do justice to what Faith meant to me.

She kept me sane.
She kept me safe.
She kept me warm.

She taught me what it meant to be loved unconditionally.
She helped me learn to be more patient.
She taught me how to love.
She taught me how to trust in someone other than myself.

The loss in our life is more than just a suddenly-too-large bed, or a quiet home when we get home from school.  The hole in my heart and the ache in my chest may appear to subside, but I know that I will never truly move on from what we are missing now that she is gone.

I now also understand, that no one can truly understand what this pain of losing a family member-pet is like, until they experience the loss themselves.  I apologize to those in my life who have experienced this loss before me, for I never really understood, until now.


This blog was shared on the Homesteaders Blog Hop....

Happy Mother's Day

This year for Mother's Day, I decided to make sure I got something good, so I made myself a raised flower bed.

This was the bed after I put together the lumber and filled it with the soil I had on hand.  I had bought a few perennials to plant in it as well.

More Chicken Aprons

I had to order more chicken aprons because a couple of the girls are still getting torn up a bit too much from the roosters.

Before I went out to put them on the hens, I tried one out on Faith.

I'd say the hens weren't impressed either.

Goat Bathing

I've never given a goat a bath, unless you count when Carrie was just a baby and needed to have her rear end cleaned several times.

I felt like it was time for the girls to get a good cleaning for the spring.

Carrie was not thrilled.

The Spring Break Project

Some friends were over a week or two ago and mentioned that we could damage our foundation and be having water leaking in to our basement due to our raised beds.  They said that the best thing to do was to pull all of the soil out, put down a barrier, that would go up along the walls, and then put the soil back.  

So that's what we did.

I think shoveling the soil out was the worst part of the job.  I worked on it alone the first day and the second day I had a little help.

This was all of the dirt that came out of the bed.

The second day was non-stop shoveling.  We took a break for lunch and a break for... well just for a break.  But otherwise we worked from morning until 5PM to get it finished.  We even brought over some of the compost to add to the top.

I replanted the rose buses and a couple other plants that had already started growing, my fingers are crossed that they will re-establish themselves.  It isn't completely done as I'd like to add some more boulders, transplant some day lilies, and put some more soil in to make sure it's angled correctly to shed the water away from the house, but I think it's going to be better once it's done.

Creative Garden Labels

I needed something to label the areas of our garden but this year I needed something that would stand out more.  Last year we painted rocks, but the paint began to peel and the rocks weren't large enough so they eventually were buried by the dirt.

This year I was trying to find something that would be more of a sign and then I cam across these cutting boards in a dollar store.

There isn't anything in the garden yet, but having the labels out is already helping the boys and I to remember which rows are for walking and which are for plants.

Only minor progress

We got out in the garden again today but didn't get too much done.  I re-tilled the entire garden, finished getting the deer and chicken fence all set up, and then was able to stretch and tie a few guidelines for the first few rows before we ran out of bright pink string.  

The rows that were marked off were where the tomatoes, onions, lettuce and cucumbers will be going along with a few other things that we can't plant just yet.  But at least those areas are ready for when we can plant them.  The newspapers are for weed  prevention.

I will need to grab some more string to finish marking off the rows, as I'm determined to stay organized this year.  Then I can get started planting the few things that are able to go into the ground before the last frost.

A chick with extra toes??

Our last batch of chicks is now two months old and is finally getting some more regular time outside in a chicken run.

The Polish with a mohawk