Big Red had been looking worse over the last week. She'd gone back to being swollen and walking a little more upright, but now the swelling was all over her body. I found her laying behind the feed trash can one night, which is the complete opposite of the corner she normally sleeps in. I knew she wasn't doing well, but I guess part of me hoped she would get better.
Then I came home and the oldest immediately came running out to tell me he'd found Big Red laying on her side in the chicken ran when he got home. He had thought she was dead but when he picked her up, she was still breathing so he brought her into the mud room.
She was sitting in a box, not moving, but still breathing. I wrapped a towel around her and picked her up, she didn't even attempt to fight me and instead just closed her eyes. I knew she was dying and I felt horrible that she might be in pain or suffering.
I called the vet and took her down.
They put her to sleep for me because I know I am not able to put an animal down myself, and we brought her home to be buried. The oldest dug the hole for me and I set her down. We've now lost a few birds and I knew that Big Red was older and sick so it wasn't unexpected, but I still feel horribly about it all.